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Tammy
#1 Posted : Monday, February 20, 2012 1:34:03 PM(UTC)
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A reader was recently invited to a wedding, but because it was out of town, she had to consider:

• Travelling,
• Accommodation, and
• A gift.

The couple whose wedding she was set to attend asked for cash, specifically, but after chatting to a friend (who recommended giving R500), she realised that she simply couldn’t afford it and as a result, didn’t go.

Which got me thinking...

I know that lots of couples today prefer money instead of gifts or vouchers, but what is the general amount given? Personally, I also feel that R500 is too steep. I would go with, say, R200 - R300. Or is that just cheap?

How much – in your opinion - is reasonable to give a couple on their wedding day?
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MeagyKar
#2 Posted : Monday, February 20, 2012 3:13:54 PM(UTC)
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I think it all depends. If it's a wedding of just an acquaintance, then I'd give R200 without feeling bad. If it's a close friend (who I knew was getting married for a while, so would've been able to save) then R500 upwards. I also think that if you're invited as a couple, then the amount could be more because you'd each give a portion.

Geez, this IS a tricky thing.
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Happy_Ginger
#3 Posted : Tuesday, February 21, 2012 8:57:28 AM(UTC)
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I have 2 weddings coming up in March. Both of which are close friends.
It's not just the wedding gift of R200-R500 you're contributing.
My boyfriend and I have had to attend both bachelor and bachelorette parties, oh and 2 kitchen teas!

I did the math on this.
So far he's spent R600 + on the bachelor parties.
I spent R400 on the 1 bachelorette, the other bachelorrette I'm attending this Saturday.
We've had to spend R200 on kitchen tea gifts already. (selected the 2 cheapest items on the gift registry) Not spending R1700 on a Nespresso machine!

I've spent R1000 on dresses to attend in the wedding. Goodness knows I cant wear the same dress. Boyfriend just spent R1700 on a suit. Both weddings are within the same family and friendship circle. Granted, this is my choice to spend money on my outfit though.

And in addition, we are required to give a gift of cash to the wedding!

So in total, these 2 weddings my boyfriend and I are attending are approx R2000 altogether for us to attend!
This by the way, is excluding accommodation!

Where do we draw the line?

Help! My bank balance is not in my favour this month.
And I have close friend who are also attending both these weddings who are in a worse off financial state that I! :(

Who would've thought it be so expensive to attend a wedding!
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JL
#4 Posted : Tuesday, February 21, 2012 9:59:34 AM(UTC)
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I always determine the value of my gift according to the travelling and accommodation expenses that are required, as well as the value of the gift received from that person for my wedding.

Generally, I think R200 to R300 is more than reasonable. If all the guests' R200 gifts are counted together in the end, it will in any case be a huge contribution to the new household.

For our wedding, we received anything from R50 to R1000 from our guests, and when we put everything together, we were able to buy a brand new lounge suite. And we appreciated each and every gift, no matter how small it was!
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Goodies
#5 Posted : Tuesday, February 21, 2012 12:30:48 PM(UTC)
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I like JL's response. Not everyone can afford to give R500, so I think R200 is reasonable. You're making a contribution to the newlyweds, and I would hope that, no matter how much you decide to give, they view it with gratitude and don't look down on the amount. Every little bit helps.

Happy_Ginger? I'm shocked at how much those costs added up.
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fish
#6 Posted : Tuesday, February 21, 2012 1:44:12 PM(UTC)
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Personally I think its in bad taste to ask people for money as a gift although when my cousin got married my fiance and I gave R500.00. For our wedding later this year I am creating a gift registry because i need to give people guidance on the gifts we want/need as we already have alot of things - all of the gifts will most propably be under R500.00.
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Tracee
#7 Posted : Tuesday, February 21, 2012 2:50:15 PM(UTC)
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Hmmm... I always tell myself -- the hubby and I spend anything from R300-R700 in one go on a simple dinner and (lots of)drinks so I think we can part with R300-500 for close friends. If you're struggling to decide on the amount, think of this -- nowadays graters, platters and wine racks have become rather fancy schmancy with Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey signatures and start at R350. So, think of what you would've bought if you could bring gifts, and give them the monetary equivalent.
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Alex Stocks
#8 Posted : Wednesday, February 22, 2012 1:45:25 PM(UTC)
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I'm getting married in two week's time, and I'm very cognisant of how much people are spending (we have a number of guests flying down from Joburg or PE to Cape Town and it's Argus weekend - oops!). On top of that many people have booked accommodation as our venue is ~45 minutes out of town. When you factor in the gifts I've already received at the hen party, I have already been incredibly spoiled by my guests.

So I am incredibly grateful already to each and every one who is just making the effort and the expense to be there, and I have said to a couple of the out of towners that their presence is present enough, and meant it (for exactly those reasons).

We do have a registry, where over half the items are less than R200 and 80% are less than R500. I certainly wouldn't expect large cash amounts (be grateful for them, sure), and definitely wouldn't want people to feel obligated to give large amounts! Or large gifts for that matter. At the end of the day it's about people sharing your day, not the gifts you receive.

So my 2c, R200 is a great gift. Don't overthink it.
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